Body
Language
Eye contact is the most obvious way you
communicate. When you are looking at the other person, you show
interest. When you fail to make eye contact, you give the impression
that the other person is of no importance. Maintain eye contact about
50% of the time in order to look interested, but not aggressive.
Facial expression is another form of non-verbal communication. A smile
sends a positive message and is appropriate in all but a life and death
situation. Smiling adds warmth and an aura of confidence. Others will be
more receptive if you remember to check your expression.
Your mouth gives clues, too, and not just when you are speaking. Mouth
movements, such as pursing your lips or twisting them to one side, can
indicate that you are thinking about what you are hearing or that you
are holding something back.
The position of your head speaks to people. Keeping your head straight,
which is not the same as keeping your head on straight, will make you
appear self-assured and authoritative. People will take you seriously.
Tilt your head to one side if you want to come across as friendly and
open.
How receptive you are is suggested by where you place your arms. Arms
crossed or folded over your chest say that you have shut other people
out and have no interest in them or what they are saying. This position
can also say, "I don't agree with you." You might just be cold, but
unless you shiver at the same time, the person in front of you may get
the wrong message.
How you use your arms can help or hurt your image as well. Waving them
about may show enthusiasm to some, but others see this gesture as one of
uncertainty and immaturity. The best place for your arms is by your
side. You will look confident and relaxed. If this is hard for you, do
what you always do when you want to get better at something - practice.
After a while, it will feel natural.
The angle of your body gives an indication to others about what's going
through your head. Leaning in says, "Tell me more." Leaning away signals
you've heard enough. Adding a nod of your head is another way to affirm
that you are listening.
Posture is just as important as your grandmother always said it was. Sit
or stand erect if you want to be seen as alert and enthusiastic. When
you slump in your chair or lean on the wall, you look tired. No one
wants to do business with someone who has no energy.
Control your hands by paying attention to where they are. In the
business world, particularly when you deal with people from other
cultures, your hands need to be seen. That would mean you should keep
them out of your pockets and you should resist the urge to put them
under the table or behind your back. Having your hands anywhere above
the neck, fidgeting with your hair or rubbing your face, is
unprofessional.
Legs talk, too. A lot of movement indicates nervousness. How and where
you cross them tells others how you feel. The preferred positions for
the polished professional are feet flat on the floor or legs crossed at
the ankles. The least professional and most offensive position is
resting one leg or ankle on top of your other knee. Some people call
this the "Figure Four." It can make you look arrogant.
The distance you keep from others is crucial if you want to establish
good rapport. Standing too close or "in someone's face" will mark you as
pushy. Positioning yourself too far away will make you seem standoffish.
Neither is what you want so find the happy medium. Most importantly, do
what makes the other person feel comfortable. If the person with whom
you are speaking keeps backing away from you, stop. Either that person
needs space or you need a breath mint.
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