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Depression: What to
Do about It
BE ANGRY OR BE
DEPRESSED
Depressed people are angry people who won't admit it. They tend to say
nothing when they should be saying: "Get out of my way!"
Anger is a natural emotion which occurs whenever there is something in
your way. We probably get at least a little angry about 20 times each
day.
When we act on our anger we are saying: "I count, and what I want
matters."
When we don't take action we are saying: "You count, I don't."
Ignoring our anger can make us believe that nobody counts and nothing
matters.
BIOLOGY OR PSYCHOLOGY?
Professionals debate whether major depression is biological,
psychological, or both. But everyone agrees that all depression, mild
to severe, shows the need for better self-care.
HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH?
You have probably heard: "We all get depressed sometimes." To the
extent that this is true, it is a sad reflection of our guilt-ridden
culture. It is not a reflection of some biological predisposition
toward being depressed.
Any depression is a problem, and regularly occurring depression is a
serious problem. If the suggestions given here do not help, therapy
(either with or without medication) can speed things up considerably.
THE WAY OUT - WHAT TO DO ABOUT DEPRESSION
If you are seldom depressed, read this section for general ideas on
self-improvement.
If you are often depressed, work your way down the list and spend as
much time on each item as you need. Stay with it until you have
completed each task (see "What You'll Learn").
1) Notice how prevalent anger is. Just go about your normal day and
notice every time you see even the slightest sign of anger in the
people around you.
What You'll Learn: You'll see that anger does occur about 20 times
every day.
2) Notice how safe anger can be. Notice how people use their anger to
get what they want, and how seldom they "get in trouble" for it.
What You'll Learn: You'll see that some people almost always get angry
responses from others when they express their anger, but most people
do not. Decide to learn from those who do not.
3) Make a list, on paper, of the best examples you can find of how
people around you use their anger effectively. Put an asterisk on the
examples you like most. Notice how often these people get what they
want when they express their anger.
What You'll Learn: You'll show yourself how safe anger can be. You'll
see that everyone has their own unique style of expressing anger, and
that one or more of these styles "feels right" for you to use. You'll
learn that people who express their anger get what they want much more
often than people who do not.
4) Learn the physical sensation you feel whenever you get angry
("tight shoulder," "tense stomach," "pain in my chest," etc.). Notice
that you get this same sensation every time you are angry - and that
it varies from very slight to very strong depending on how angry you
are. Get good at noticing even the slightest sensations of anger.
What You'll Learn: After accomplishing this task you will always know
when you are angry, how strong your anger is, and how much energy you
have to deal with each anger-inducing situation.
5) Begin to express your anger more and more, based on what you've
learned about how others express their anger. Notice what happens to
your depression.
What You'll Learn: The more anger you use, the less depressed you will
feel.
6) Continue to experiment with expressing your anger. Focus on the
results you get. Compare what actually happens with what you thought
would happen. (In other words, compare reality to your scary
fantasies.)
What You'll Learn: Everyone will learn that their scary fantasies are
far worse than what happens in real life. Most people will learn that
their scary fantasies were based on childhood realities, not on adult
realities.
HOW YOU'LL CHANGE
When you are no longer depressed you will feel stronger, more
energetic, and more enthused. You will have a renewed interest in all
kinds of pleasure. Daily problems will still be there, but they will
bother you much less. You will even begin to find opportunities where
you used to find only problems!
HOW YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WILL CHANGE
Your relationships will improve immensely, just because you are less
depressed. Everyone will enjoy being with you more because of your
energy and spontaneity.
OTHER ARTICLES
This article is the second in a two-part series at my site on
Depression. (See: "Depression: The Problem.") Also look for other
articles on depression as well as articles on anger, motivation,
discipline, etc. Look for ideas about how to avoid depression in every
article!
About the Author:
Tony Schirtzinger is a therapist in Milwaukee. Visit his web site to
read many articles like this one. You can also do your own
"Relationship Analysis." And FREE letters of advice from a therapist
are also available! Web Site: "SELF-THERAPY: For People Who ENJOY
Learning About Themselves." http://www.helpyourselftherapy.com/
Disclaimer: The views expressed in the article are strictly
those of the writer and 123oye does not take any responsibility for
them.
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